Thanks For Playing. Better Luck Next Time, Loser.

Leftovers take a long time to get rid of.  Remember the sweet potato casserole I made somewhere around the 15th?  Yeah, still in the fridge with about 1/3 left.  The smokey tomato-bacon pasta--that sucker took 5 separate meals to eat and that was WITH someone eating their share.  I swear, with the exception of maybe 3-4 meals in the span of 10 days, I've eaten the same food for lunch and dinner.  That's what happens when you make Paula Deen portions I guess.  So I apologize, devoted readers, I had nothing to post since I ate the same thing...over and over and over and over...

Today I bring you news of my first real kitchen failure.  It all started with a suggestion that someone cook dinner for me.  "Fine," I announced, "I'll make the dessert!"  Giddy with trying my luck at my first real dessert, I settled on bread pudding since I just had my first taste of it at the Sox game I went to the weekend before and it was mighty tasty.  And Paula Deen's version of bread pudding had to be good.  It just had to be.  It was called "Coconut Cream Bread Pudding with Chocolate Velvet Sauce" for crying out loud!  Here is where the problem started.  It called for "one 15 ounce can cream of coconut".  Couldn't find it in the grocery store.  Yes, I looked in the International Aisle.  Yes, I'm sure it wasn't there.

Lesson 1: You can't substitute things in desserts like you can in non-dessert cooking, especially when the name of that something you're substituting is in the title of the dessert.  I know this now.

It started out okay.  Instead of a 16-20 inch French loaf, I found French rolls (is this the same thing?  I'm still not sure) and chopped them into cubes and lined the baking pan.

Next, I whipped up what was supposed to turn into the custard, which was comprised of egg yolks, coconut milk, cream of coconut (remember yo no tengo), salt, nutmeg, shredded sweetened coconut, and mace--no clue what mace is but I did find it in the spice aisle.  Aside from the mini battle I had with the electric can opener which decided to crap out on me with the first can of coconut milk (and would you think my parents had a manual one?? NO!) which was followed by my horror movie stabbing to poke a hole in the top of the cans, there was nothing wrong looking about this mixture...except that I was missing the cream of coconut...have I mentioned that?

I was then instructed to pour this concoction into the pan and pat the bread down so it would soak up the "custard" sans cream of coconut.

And then I waited...for a hour while it was doing its thing in the refrigerator.

When that was done, I placed the entire baking dish in another "baking dish" - really what I cook turkeys in for Thanksgiving - with hot water coming 1/3 up the original baking dish.

And then I waited some more.  1 hour and 15 minutes more at 325 degrees.

Lesson 2: Be aware when the larger "baking dish" has a leak.  Do not use said baking dish.

Not long after the baking part of this fiasco was done, Paula (we're on a first name basis now) instructed me to cool this in the fridge completely before serving.  Now, around this time, I was getting a little impatient.  I mean, here's the awesome meal (fish tacos) that I had for dinner...

...so it's not like I'm complaining too much, but I wanted to experience this dessert already.

Okay, okay, maybe I rushed it a little because I put it in the freezer, but I promise you, ample time had passed.  Since I could wait no longer, and by now it was getting late, I popped it out, cut a small piece out, and kind of made a half conscious decision to forgo the Chocolate Velvet Sauce.

 Lesson 3: Do not forgo the chocolate velvet sauce.

That was the size of the piece I cut out for two people.  Not all of that got ingested since I fed almost my entire piece to the dog.

I guess it looks okay, but man, it did not taste too good.  Kind of mushy in a soaked piece of bread kind of way, not that sweet probably because I DIDN'T PUT THE CHOCOLATE VELVET SAUCE ON IT, and an overall disappointment; the dog kind of liked it.

That was two nights ago.  Tonight, I tried it again to see if any form of solidifying in the colder temperatures would help it.

Lesson 4: Colder temperature does not help bread pudding that's missing cream of coconut and the chocolate velvet sauce.

Plus, I swear I could taste the pinch of salt.  This is a total loss.  Into the garbage it goes.

And FYI, this is what it's supposed to look like:

Ladies and Gentlemen, He Didn't Die!

There comes a moment in every (pseudo) chef's career where he or she must cook for a person that is not a relative.  Someone who doesn't feel that obligation to smile and choke down that piece of food while at the same time exclaiming, "Wow, this is....*cough*....great....really, just...um....hits the spot?"  Tonight was that night for me.  The night where someone other than my mother or father ate my attempt at cooking and, dare I say, actually enjoyed it!  Somewhere the angels are rejoicing that they didn't completely mess up with yours truly.

I again defaulted to Paula Deen because I figure she's a safe bet--no one wouldn't like something coming out of her kitchen.  Well, they might not like it after years of eating that style wherein they're rushed to the hospital because all of their arteries are blocked and their cholesterol is off the charts but you catch my drift.

I also have a confession to make.  Remember when I said that I was giving up pasta?  Yeah, I didn't really "remember" that until right now when I was typing because that's exactly what I made.  But it gets better...I made Smoky Tomato-Bacon Pasta.  Pasta AND bacon--the tomatoes were an added bonus and my attempt at making it semi healthy.

In actuality, I wasn't quite sure what to make tonight, given that this was my quasi professional debut and on top of that, the entire cooking process would be on display from start to finish.  Do I make something exotic and out there but has the potential to be awesome or stick with something that I know will be easy under peer pressure.  Not only does the food have to taste good, the preparation has to look flawless, effortless, like "oh this? I just whipped this up off the top of my head.  I do this in my sleep."  Okay that part didn't happen since I clearly had the cookbook out right in front of me the entire time.  P.S. Bacon grease spatter travels a good distance so you might want to make sure you have items pushed far, far away from the pan but there's also something a little comic about this page being practically covered in bacon grease spatter.

I started with cooking about 10 slices of bacon until it was crispy and brown and trust me, I could have ended the recipe right then and exclaimed "Dinner's ready!"

As those were drying up, I chopped up one onion and cooked it until softened in the bacon grease--good one, Paula, good one.  At this point, my dog was going crazy, partially since there was a guest and partially because the aroma of bacon filled the entire kitchen...and living room...and hallway...and laundry room.

After about 5 minutes, I added some diced tomatoes with juice (I used a can...so sue me already) and crumbled the bacon to mix this yummy goodness together, seasoning it with some salt "for taste".  I've yet to determine what that means (give me a concrete measurement!  I'm not advanced yet!) because if it were up to me, I'd have a salt lick at my desk.  I like it that much. 

While that simmered for about 10 minutes, I started up the boiling pot of water in order to add my rigatoni (used an entire box but damn I'm going to have some good leftovers).  This is the part where I felt very chef-like since I had multiple things going at once--but then again not really since both were kind of "hands off and just wait" at this point.

The last step while the pasta was cooking was to add 4 ounces of cream cheese to the sauce which didn't make sense to me at the time but I'm sure it added a whole big great deal to it, which my taste buds might not be savvy enough to pick up on.

The end result was pretty darn good if I do say so myself and given that my guest of the night seemed to enjoy it as well (or was a good liar but I promise you, second helpings were had).  I can tell you this much--I know what I'm having for lunch tomorrow.

Boo-ya.

Oh The Wind Is Lashing Lustily And The Trees Are Thrashing Thrustily

In true Midwestern weather fashion, after a week of summer like heat and humidity, the weather kicked Illinois in the pants and dropped to 40 degrees (which felt around 36) coupled with some wind and rain.  In other words, perfect weather.  After spending nearly all morning and some of the afternoon outside at the Walk and Roll for the American Cancer Society at Independence Grove and then at Duck Farm since Emerson couldn't join me in the first go around, I was definitely feeling the chill in places that shouldn't feel the chill--like your hands, jeez, where are your minds?

Ever notice how awful it is to have cold hands?  You can't move your fingers fast enough, everything kind of slows down and you're practically impaired?  There are times when I go walking in the dead of winter with two sets of gloves and my hands are still ice cold.  When I come in I hover my hands over the heating vents and it's like this painful warm up that feels like a million needles pricking fingers--and it hurts...kind of like this.

So back to the mid-May cool off...

I decided that since it was cold outside, I wanted to make something warm and toasty inside.  I'm staying at my parents' house for the next couple of weeks while they embark on their National Park/Civil War Battlefield Road Trip 2011.  Because of this, I have a much bigger kitchen to play around in and after last night's meal (over-toasted buns and oven cooked hamburgers...not recommended) I felt the need to redeem myself to the all seeing kitchen eyeball.

I'd brought over some cookbooks from my place and apparently I had the foresight to bring The Deen Family Cookbook by none other than Paula Deen herself.  What better cookbook to use when trying to find a warm and comforting Sunday night meal?  Literally everything in this book plus everything I've seen her make on T.V. I want to inhale.  I settled on the "Spicy Chili and Sweet Potato Casserole" on page 105.  My brain is programmed to be in tune to anything beginning or including the words "spicy", "hot", or "chipotle".  Blame the Southwest upbringing.

The recipe looked basic enough to make and after picking up some random items at the grocery store, I set about sizzling it up.  I started with mashing the yams mixed with some sour cream and then set it aside for a while.

Then, I cooked the meat for about 5 minutes and pushed it to the side while adding the cut up green pepper and onions.

Following that, I added some garlic (1 clove-chopped), chili powder (2.5 tablespoons), ground cumin (1 teaspoon), and some salt (1 teaspoon), which I mixed in with the green pepper, onion, and meat.  Then I removed it from the stove and added the kidney beans and diced tomatoes (plus juice).

All this looked very Arizona to me so far and not necessarily Southern style cooking but as I got to the next step, which I'd kind of forgotten about (the yams!), it all made sense.  I spread the yam concoction over the top...

...and added some bread crumbs mixed with 3 tablespoons of melted butter (Paula does love her butter, or as I first typed it out, lover her butter).

Once that was done, I stuck the entire thing in the oven at 400 degrees and baked for about 27 minutes (the oven at this house is on the fritz in my opinion).  The aroma that filled the home was perfect and the oven heat nicely warmed the kitchen.  Out of the oven da da da da da da daaaaaaaaaaa!

I scooped this onto a plate and was ready to go.  The perfect meal for a blustery day.

My only comment about the recipe was that it wasn't really spicy...like not at all...like I should have dumped 8 tablespoons of chili powder in there and MAYBE it would've had a kick to it.  I think I'll draft Paula a letter.

It's Nice To Play With Rice, And Not With Mice

How great was the weather today?  Perfect, right?  All I wanted to do was get outside and go for a long, loooong walk through the forest preserve.  Luckily, living in kind of the middle of nowhere with several forest preserves within walking or a short driving distance, I'm able to take FULL advantage of that.  Nothing beats a great walk at dawn or dusk for me.  Nothing.  No matter what is going on, a walk will always help calm me down, clear my head, and restore some sense of sanity to my week.  To quote the best American essayist EVER TO LIVE:

In the woods, we return to reason and faith. There I feel that nothing can befall me in life, no disgrace, no calamity (leaving me my eyes), which nature cannot repair. Standing on the bare ground, my head bathed by the blithe air and uplifted into infinite space, all mean egotism vanishes. - Nature


Since my feet were tap dancing closer and closer to the door, I wanted a quick meal of substance.  Something hearty yet healthy.  I went online for some brown rice recipes since I thought something would jump out at me.  I found one that sounded interesting and was written by a *gasp* vegan.  


For the life of me, I can't find the link now but it was pretty simple and I'll try and recall it.  Basically, bring water, a dash of salt, and 2 cups of tomato sauce (I replaced this with garlic and onion pasta sauce, which was the closest thing I could find to tomato sauce in my pantry) to a boil, add 1 tablespoon of olive oil, and the following spices: ground cumin (1 teaspoon), chili powder (1 teaspoon), garlic seasoning (1/4 teaspoon) - for some reason, I thought adding fennel would be a substitute which is most likely completely off but I had to improvise since I didn't have it - and ground coriander (1/4 teaspoon).  I'm pretty sure that's it...like I said, can't find it anywhere anymore.

Here's where my thought process was a little off as well.  See, I didn't buy the minute rice.  I bought the 50 minute rice.  So much for my quick meal.  Additionally, the below picture represents what the kids today call an Epic Fail.

I distinctly remember buying this bag of brown rice BECAUSE it had a built in zip lock.  Looks like I apparently was out of it since I cut the top off and now have trouble closing it with a twist tie.


But it was worth it and I got some work done whilst waiting for the timer to go off.  After about 35 minutes, I turned the heat off and added around 2 cups of frozen mixed vegetables and let everything simmer for another 10 minutes.

And there you go, a (relatively) quick and easy meal that's perfect to scarf down before hitting the trails.

I just had to create a new playlist to listen to as well and I'm going to share its magnificence...because I can.


1) It Don't Have to Change - John Legend
2) Rhinestone Eyes - Gorillaz
3) Hide and Seek - Imogen Heap
4) God's Gonna Cut You Down - Johnny Cash
5) Mind Trick - Jamie Cullum
6) Wild Hope - Mandy Moore (don't judge!)
7) Sunday Morning - Maroon 5
8) Mama - My Chemical Romance (okay so this one is a little out of character of the others but it makes me laugh)
9) Bluebird - Sara Bareilles
10) Some Enchanted Evening - Perry Como (what better way to end the walk than feeling as though I'm in a 1940s movie?)


I'm not saying it flows perfectly or even that it's for everyone, but it was my little moment tonight--my walk of one's own...no? That didn't translate well...okay.

Rub-A-Dub Fish

It's gotten to the point where I look forward to coming home and making an actual something for dinner as opposed to microwaving "food" and/or grazing the pantry - I use that term loosely since I don't actually have a pantry...I have some cabinets, but those are for the pots and pans, the spices (I have spices now!!), the dishes, etc.  If there's one thing I learned in my adventures in being a first time homeowner, it's the following: pantry/cabinet space is prime, try to get a bathroom that's big enough for TWO people even if at the time you're buying it, you're solo (resale hello! No one's moving in with me yet!), and yard space is NOT overrated.  Additionally, do not rule out leaks even if your home is yet to turn four.  I've had four so far...in new construction...and just in case you can't do the math, that's more than one a year.

But getting back to the food, I found that I actually eat less, since I spend time preparing it and I want to savor the flavors and essence.  Plus, I'm counting the weight watchers points so I can't, like, you know, gorge myself like I normally would.  I'd like to think I'm eating healthier since the ingredients are fresh(er) and not store packed.  I'm trying the healthy grocery store shopping mantra of sticking to the outer sides since all the bad (read: good) stuff is down the middle aisles.  Plus, I'm inspired by all the cookbooks, online recipes, and people forwarding or telling me their favorite tried and true dishes.  Additionally, this is an awesome blog by my old (in the sense it was a while ago since age wise she's actually younger than me...and a much better chef by FAR) work pal Christina.  Seriously, glamour shots of food and very funny.  I mean, starting out the blog by declaring Mondays Cake Day?  Genius!

For today, I decided to make something with the frozen salmon I bought at Trader Joe's and yet again, stuck with the same cookbook I've been using for a while now.  I came across the recipe, Salmon with Sweet and Spicy Rub on page 227.  I'm into these rubs lately--first the cowboy coffee and ancho rub, then the pork chops with the garlic rub, and now this.  I never thought I'd say this but I'm starting to refer to certain recipes as "easy".  A while back, even this would have intimidated me.  I don't know why but I was afraid to mess up or something so I wouldn't even attempt it.  After the uncooked chicken, small microwave fire, and skin grating slaw, I'm getting over that.

The rub called for 2 tablespoons of light brown sugar, 1 tablespoon of chili powder (I replaced it with the ancho chile), 1 teaspoon of ground cumin, and 1/8 teaspoon salt as well as pepper.  See what I mean about easy?

It technically directed the salmon to be grilled but since I don't have a grill (on my wish list but to go charcoal or gas? tough decision) I settled on baking it and had to cheat and look in my Good Housekeeping cookbook to get a basic idea of temperature (350) and time (20-30 min).

If I hadn't been turned off by the potential salmonella or food poisoning threat, I would have scarfed this up before cooking since it looks so delicious!

While this was baking, I did a little meal planning for tomorrow (or Wednesday depending on how motivated I am to hit the gym in the evening) but soon the exquisite aroma of chile and sugar filled my kitchen and I put that thought on hold to pull out this:

The brown sugar had almost candied and it was...words can't describe how the taste exploded.  And fish is not necessarily my "go to" meal.  I had the smaller piece *sigh* meaning less points.  But I filled the rest of my hunger void with some peas mixed with some of the rub I had left (don't recommend...sounds waaaay better than it actually tasted).

My seal of approval is officially stamped on this one, especially for someone who might not like fish too much.

And because my generation is known for its multitasking, here's a shot of my dinner table.

I'll leave you with some simple words of wisdom: Mumford and Sons is the perfect music to listen to while cooking and entertaining guests or heading down the solo path during twilight.

Excuse Me, Miss? There's Blood Dripping on the Carrots

Happy Mother's Day to all the wonderful mothers out there!  I celebrated by spending one day doing the reverse of what my mom has done for me too many times to count...doting on someone other than myself.  This morning, I had a grand plan to make blueberry filled ebelskivers for my mom but when I started to get out the ingredients, I realized I was missing something crucial: the pancake batter.

Luckily, since my mother is the most easy going, patient person on the planet (that's what 30+ years of teaching Special Ed will do to you) she was okay with me moving my prepared meal to dinner, which led me to my main course entitled Sage-Rubbed Pork Chops with Warm Apple Slaw.

After making the official decision of dinner, I extended the formal invitation to my parents to come over at 6 and set about learning how to make slaw.  It's not too hard, now that it's all over and done with and I only suffered one minor injury...the grater and I will have words later.

I finally was able to clear off my prepping station, which further solidified my decision "to become a cook".

It's amazing how much more space I have without this entire block covered with mail/magazines/coupons/pens/rubber dinosaurs/etc.  I'm determined to keep it clean.  After that, I set about getting everything set up so I could conquer it one vegetable at a time.  Most of the vegetables called for them to be coarsely shredded and I figured my grater could accomplish that, given that it's got 4 different "settings" as I'll call it--one for each side.

With this meal, I took the Sun Tzu approach.

 #1: Strategy without tactics is the slowest route to victory. Tactics without strategy is the noise before defeat.

I surveyed and circled my opponent--the whole vegetable--and braced myself for one challenge at a time.  First, the apple--cored, cut in half, and coarsely shredded.  Done.  Second, the cabbage--cut in half, cored, and coarsely shredded.  Done.  Third, the carrots, the INNOCENT carrots--peeled, coarsely shredded.  And this is where Angela ran into her enemy and things got ugly.

Sun Tzu advises that you should be "swift as the wind, quiet as the forest" in order to "conquer like the fire, steady as a mountain."  Well, I can tell you that I nailed the swift as the wind bit, but was not quite as quiet as the forest when I accidently grated my thumb knuckle along with the carrot...I also broke the steady as the mountain part when I pulled my hand back in pain and dropped the grater with bits of carrots onto the floor.  And I'm sure somewhere in "The Art of War" he indicated that you should not take the Lord's name in vain, which I did.

It took a while for the bleeding to stop (man fingers bleed like a sucker), but as a true kitchen champ (I saw Top Chef, I know how they judge you for not continuing with an injury like this!) I continued until the carrot was finished, to which I had to keep stopping every third pass to catch the dripping blood before it got on the food.  Luckily, all I had left after that was the onion.  And let me tell you, even the smallest onion juice hurts like none other when it finds its way into that gaping hole in your thumb.

#2: A military operation involves deception. Even though you are competent, appear to be incompetent. Though effective, appear to be ineffective.

That's it!  I was pretending to be incompetent and ineffective the whole time!  Obviously, I'm a strategic genius.  Slaw ready to be cooked.


#3: Now the reason the enlightened prince and the wise general conquer the enemy whenever they move and their achievements surpass those of ordinary men is foreknowledge.

While the side battle was going on with the slaw, I had the pork chops soaking in the sage, salt, pepper, and garlic rub for 10 minutes.  The recipe called for bone-in pork chops but I knew that I didn't want to deal with cutting that off and feeling as though I lost half my portion so I bought boneless instead and never looked back.  I heated a pan with 2 tablespoons of olive oil and browned them for 2 minutes on each side (and didn't set off the smoke detector!  For those who have been to my house before, you know that it's a little - and by a little I mean a lot - sensitive) and then put them on a side plate while I focused my attention back to the slaw.


#4: All men can see these tactics whereby I conquer, but what none can see is the strategy out of which victory is evolved.

I added the individual vegetables at different stages--apple and onion first, carrots and cabbage second--and then splashed a little apple cider vinegar and chicken broth in there to give it even more flavor.  My only second thought here was that I should have cut the onions a little smaller to match the rest of the slaw.  They were the only things I didn't grate and instead cut in half moons.  It called for a whole onion but I only used half and that was plenty.


#5: Secret operations are essential in war; upon them the army relies to make its every move.

Peek-a-boo!  What's that there?  That's the pork chop tucked under the slaw for 7 minutes to make it even more explosive on the taste buds.  I thought this was a brilliant step to make the dish come together with the flavors.  Let's not even pretend for a second that I thought of it myself.  The credit goes to Ellie Krieger.


#6: Subtle and insubstantial, the expert leaves no trace; divinely mysterious, he is inaudible. Thus he is master of his enemy's fate.

And this would be the final product served for dinner, except for my Dad's plate, which was just a piece of pork because he "doesn't do slaw".  To make up for that, I crafted a salad.  But I have to saw, it was pretty good!  I actually tasted the apple in it even though it seemed like only a small component.  There's a lot of slaw left over and I'll bet it tastes great cold!  Slaw is an acquired taste I've found...when I was little you couldn't force me within 5 feet of it but one day, it just clicked.  The pork chop turned out very tender and moist.  I received more than an upraised eye brow when I mentioned I only cooked it for about 2 minutes on each side and then stuck it in the slaw.


#7: Opportunities multiply as they are seized.

Did I mention that I made brownies for dessert?  I found this great mix at Trader Joe's that was a lot less fat and sugar but held the promise to be equally as delicious.  When I got home, I realized that it called for low fat vanilla yogurt, which I didn't have.  But, further down it indicated that you could use 3/4 cup of apple sauce and then add a teaspoon of "your favorite extract".  Luckily I'd bought apple sauce and had some vanilla extract.  I was skeptical (to put it mildly) of the apple sauce and was sure I was making the other kind of special brownies...the kind that you don't eat because they're gross.


However, they were excellent and we ended up having two servings each!  Couldn't really taste the apple component.  This looks like it's burnt but I assure you, it's just perfectly moist (that's twice I've used that controversial word in this blog).

With that, I wish everyone a wonderful evening and will leave you once again with the wise words of Sun Tzu in a particularly befitting statement.


There is no instance of a nation benefitting from prolonged warfare.

Almost Faster Than A Speeding Bullet

You know, sometimes the freshly prepared meal just doesn't happen.  Although I'm beginning to look forward to making my next meal, I still revert back to my former self that equates cooking with sticking a frozen brick of condensed food in the microwave and 3 minutes later having it come out piping hot and slightly over done.

This got me reminiscing of all the different kinds of microwave dinners there are to choose from, ranging from healthy to Hungry Man - a personal favorite of mine.  Ah Hungry Man dinners...memories come back of sophomore year of high school with just my dad and I to fend for ourselves.  Picture this: young 16-year-old Angela comes home after school, greeted by Buddy, the greatest dog to ever live - Em, you're a close second and you might edge out that spot if you could do this or this instead of eating mulch and failing to listen to basic commands.  More or less alone, dad still working the long days, dinner time arrives and out comes the Hungry Man from the freezer; pop it in the microwave, listen for the melodious ding and a meal is served.  My evenings were entertained in this fashion, which was fine by me.  Looking back maybe I should have ventured out more.

Frozen dinners seem to be getting fancier (read: more expensive) now with healthier food and trendy brands.  Yeah, I'm looking at you Kashi.  Stop with the awesome cereals too.

Given that it was Cinco de Mayo and the only celebrating I could do was 10 minutes away from my computer, I went with Santa Fe style rice and beans.  I have to say, it was pretty nice with no prep, minimal clean up, and just enough to hit the spot.  But the growing food snob in me grew a little dissatisfied, which I'm taking to mean my palate is reforming.  Hopefully Mac and Cheese with a little lemon pepper, chile powder, and hot sauce will always be my #1 comfort food.  I'm not too refined for that.

Not the greatest visual--it never looks like the box!

With that ready to be scarfed down, in true TV dinner fashion, I landed here but picked up a magazine instead--like I don't have enough, I know.  But, whether you're a National Geographic, Mental Floss, Elle, or New Yorker fan, I've got your reading style covered.  If only I had time to actually read them all.

Since I'm about to collapse with mental and physical exhaustion, I'll leave you for now.  But I promise to make something noteworthy this weekend!  It is Mother's Day after all--what to make, what to make?

Well That Fire Started Pretty Suddenly

So I lied when I said that I'd prepared what this week's meals were to be over the weekend--I only planned as far as Monday night.  Since I'm loving my cooking kick, my kitchen cuisine, I wanted to try something with substance.  Something that has the food equivalent of a good, swift kick in the mouth.  With the success of my butternut squash soup still fresh in my mind, I kept with the same cookbook but looked under the chapter, "The Main Course".  After skimming a couple ones that seemed good but didn't grab my attention, I suddenly turned to a page sans picture that said in plain and simple writing "Cowboy Steak with Coffee and Ancho Rub".

"THIS IS IT!  THIS IS THE ONE!" my brain exclaimed.  Synapses were firing like crazy--steak, with coffee, AND ancho powder??  Doth my eyes deceive me?  And get this...the coffee was espresso!  Not only was I getting my red meat fix, I was getting a wham! of caffeine and a pow! of hotness.  If I had to put this moment to song, it would be this.

I excitedly dog-eared the page and went to bed, with visions of the wild west dancing all through my head. Because I was so excited for this, I wanted to really feel like I craved the meal; like I had worked an entire day on the ranch with the cattle, under the hot and fiery 100+ degree sun, with grit in my teeth and dust on my clothes.  Happy trails to you, until we meet again.

Given that I live nowhere near a place like this, I did the best I could--worked a full day at work, hit the gym hard, and sweated it out in the sauna.  I came home ravenous.

The good thing was that this was incredibly easy to make--it took like 3 minutes of prep, and 10 minutes of cooking, and that's only because I like my steaks cooked well done.  To show you how basic it was, here's my prep station:

All it called for in terms of spices was ancho chile powder, finely ground espresso coffee, dark brown sugar, dry mustard, ground coriander, salt, and black pepper.  The only thing I had to stop at the store for was the dry mustard and the espresso.  This leads me into a sidebar conversation to mention that I've discovered the best new fair trade coffee brand and it's Canadian!  The canisters are made out of recycled products and the names for each style of coffee was hysterical.  Since I was making a cowboy themed dinner, I couldn't pass this up.  I did restrain myself from buying the regular morning coffee called "Kick Ass".

Here's where I should probably mention how the fire started.  See, the coffee and ancho rub called for 1/2 teaspoon of dark brown sugar.  I knew I had some and sure enough, it was stashed in the back corner of the cabinet above my oven--and hard as a rock.  I smashed it against the countertop just to see if it would crumble enough so I could get my little meager amount but it wasn't budging.  In fact, I had a moment where I thought I might have damaged the counter.  What do you do if something doesn't work or is stuck?  Answer: Hit or smash it really hard.

What do I then do?  I throw it in the microwave thinking, "this'll soften it up!"  One small oversight.  I forgot to take the twist tie off, which had a metal wire in it.  The next thing I know, after like 3 seconds of being in there, I hear a small explosion and see flames.  Turns out, you should probably remove that.  Luckily it wasn't out of control and I was able to blow it out but it melted part of the bag and the liquid plastic got everywhere.  Small potatoes for a cowgirl though!

Getting back to the meal, I rubbed down both sides of each piece of meat and stuck it in the oven for 5 minutes on each side.

What came out 10 minutes later was the most glorious sight to my weary eyes and hungry belly.

Now if that ain't some good eatin', I don't know what is.  I was certainly hungry enough for it and will have plenty of leftovers to enjoy in the upcoming days.  The coffee made it a little dirty tasting (in a super good way) and the ancho powder was just enough to keep things interesting.  I couldn't really taste the brown sugar--all that effort...

I'd give this one an A+ with a gold star for being so awesome.  And in case you're curious, it's only 5 points in Weight Watchers...yeah, I bit the bullet and joined.

And now I lay me down to sleep, and pray the Lord my soul to keep.  For if I die before I wake, I'm certainly glad that this is what I ate.

How Do You Solve A Problem Like Maria?

I had the weekend to look over some cookbooks to come up with this week's lineup and boy did I surprise myself with what I brought out of the running gates first: Curried Butternut Squash Soup.  Again with the soups!  Something inexplicably drew me to this creamy goodness, mainly, I've always wanted an excuse to buy a squash and actually prepare it instead of dressing it up for a Thanksgiving display.  And figure out how to prepare it.  Interestingly enough, although I knew it was a member of the cucurbita family, I was still surprised that it smelled like pumpkin when I was seeding it.

It's always a little strange when you smell "holiday" smells so far away from their time.  Kind of like when I go to Ohio for my annual Week of Solitude and Isolation mid year (I might have to cancel this year!  Or go in July instead of May) and I make a pit stop at this magical place "right in the heart of Amish country!"  Maybe I'll pick up the "Amish Bishop and his wife" collectibles!  Side bar: I'd love, love, LOVE to be Amish.  Having said that, this meal would have been a bazillion times harder without electricity--maybe Mennonite?

So back to the squash and my sweet arsenal with which to annihilate it.

Peeler-check. Small knife before I realize I need a bigger knife-check.  Bigger knife-check.  Spoon for seeding-check.  Bring it on, muchacho.  I may or may not have pranced around the kitchen holding the big knife Psycho style making the reee reee reeee sound effects.

I give you Exhibit A: The Butternut Squash

Exhibit B: Skinned--The Great Peel

Exhibit C: THE MASSACRE!  Careful, you might need to avert your eyes--it's going to get gruesome.

Tangent--My knife makes awesome cutting marks AND, bonus! the hollowed out part (thank you, it took some talent) looks like hearts.  The squash is telling me it loves me!  It's last plea before the end drew near.

And finally, Exhibit D: The Aftermath

I must say, after tackling this squash, I'm not so intimidated by off-putting gourds.  Oh the possibilities during Fall!  I'll have to remember this dish for then.  I'm sure it's equally as appropriate during a brisk Fall Saturday evening--OF HORROR MOVIES!

Onwards!  After this prep, I followed it by mincing 2 cubes of garlic, and chopping up one onion.  I put that in a medium size soup pot and let those two ingredients cook a little bit in some oil.

After that was nice and sizzling--might have had the heat on juuuust a smidge too high at first, I added the cubed squash, chicken stock, salt, and curry powder and let it come to a boil after about 15 minutes on high heat.

But wait, you thought I was done.  Think again!  I call this Exhibit E: Hiding the Body

Now for the really dirty, devastating, dastardly (thanks Geraldo) details.  I CUT AND CHOPPED ALL THE EVIDENCE UP IN A BLENDER!  Oh the horror!

Sorry Ellie Krieger, I'm not food snobby enough to have an immersion blender on hand.  This bit was slightly amusing.  I have no pictures to share since both my hands were occupied pouring the half done soup from the electrifyingly hot pot (needed to use oven mitts) into a bowl, which in turn, went into the blender.  This had to be done in two shifts and apparently I have both a) horrible aim and b) a leaky blender.  I think I lost about an eighth of the soup on the counter and/or floor...and a little that splashed onto my pants...and a little that splashed into the oven--while it was closed.

All in all, the Curried Butternut Squash Soup found on page 78 here was incredibly good!  I really liked the curry part, which made it interestingly spicy.  I forgot to mention that the recipe called for 2 tablespoons of honey.  I guess every little ingredient helps.  I'm still too much of a novice to taste the difference but one day, I'm sure I'll have it mastered.  And then I can compete on Top Chef!

Behold my Monday night dinner and you can bet your bottom dollar that the sun will come out tomorrow and I'll be having this for lunch.

Yeah, so I left off the plain nonfat yogurt for a garnish because I'm NOT buying a tub of that stuff for one meal.  Again, why it's so hard to package small portions of something is beyond me.